People Will Treat You How You Let Them Treat You Part 1

June 14, 2011

(Image of Lavender shot by me at The Eden Project)

I remember when I was in my early 20s, thinking about how people don’t actually make us feel anything.  How we feel is all our own doing, its all our own choice.  We choose to react to something someone said or did.  If you feel bad, you choose to feel that way.

Heavy and uncomfortable realisation for some.

But bare with me here.  This is important.

You may argue that someone intended to hurt you or make you feel bad, and while that may be true, there is always, always, a split second moment where you conciously or subconciously decide, or rather, choose, how you will feel about their intended actions.

For every action, there is a reaction.  Your reaction is up to you, regardless of the action’s intent.

If someone says something hurtful to you, you can choose to let it hurt you, or you can choose not to take it on, let it go.  If you understand that someone saying something hurtful to you has nothing to do with you and everything to do with them, it becomes a whole lot easier to let those hurtful comments bounce off you.

The stronger you become and the more you love and support yourself and think yourself a pretty awesome person, it becomes even easier to let those comments bounce off you.

One of the reasons we choose to feel hurt by hurtful comments or actions is because sometimes we believe we deserve them for some reason, or we dont yet understand that we dont deserve them.

And this brings us to part 2, arriving tomorrow and if you dont want to miss it, be sure to subscribe to my mailing list and get my posts directly into your inbox where you can refer back to them and forward them on to your friends who might like to read them!

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  • Siany June 15, 2011 at 12:31 am

    I work in hospitality and after years Im still not used to some of the nasty, hurtful and uncalled for remarks. I find it very hard not to take them personally even though I know Ive done nothing wrong. There are many days where it doesnt bother me, but if Im having a day where I even slightly doubt myself I can take it pretty hard. I always have to remind myself that no matter how hard you try, you can NEVER make everyone happy. Thanks for this post – I will have another daily reminder to choose how to react.

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  • Kylie Ryan June 24, 2011 at 8:56 am

    So true. Great post. You have response-ability. The ability to choose your response, most people don’t realise they have it, though everyone does.

    • The Dame June 24, 2011 at 8:58 am

      Ooh! I like the way you broke it down like that 🙂

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  • Elizabeth Maxim August 12, 2011 at 7:14 pm

    Thank you so much for this post!! I’ve actually been trying to follow this philosophy for the past few months and have found that not only am I a happier person in life, but that I have also strengthened my relationships with others. When someone upsets me, I tell myself that they have their own reasons for acting that way and take it for what it is, rather than dwelling on it and taking it personally. You put it into words, so that now I can go on and share this with others! Thanks again for the powerful and positive thinking! 🙂

    • The Dame August 12, 2011 at 7:19 pm

      Hey Elizabeth! Thanks for your wonderful comment and thanks for sharing! 😀

  • Sara December 2, 2012 at 3:10 pm

    Thank you much for sharing this kind wisdom- I was in a very dark place last year, and I remember the moment I stumbled across this post and began to realize I could do something about it! This wisdom is something I will keep with me for the rest of my life.
    Lots of love to you and what you do.

    • The Dame December 2, 2012 at 9:01 pm

      Thank you for letting me know Sara and Im so glad I was able to help. 🙂

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    Thats so true! Thanks for the wise words lady 🙂

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