Should You Have Kids Or Should You Go Travel?

May 13, 2015


I recently read a blog post by a lovely blogger about to turn 30 on her discomfort in what to do with herself and how she feels pulled in two directions, the safe and well beaten path, or following her heart, the not so stable and secure path. 

Having experienced both, I gave her this advice:

Which will you regret more when you’re much older?

It’s completely ok to be multi-passionate and to pursue your urges and desires.

You will regret not investigating who you are, be bold, choose yourself and if nothing comes of it, there is always the well beaten path to go back to 🙂

Someone else commented on the post essentially asking if she should have kids or go travel and I said:

Go and travel, you will regret not doing it when you have kids and can’t. You will also become a hugely better, more compassionate and more understanding person from traveling, something that your future kids will deserve in a mother xx

Humanity is evolving. The usual way of doing life is unraveling, the examples we grew up with no longer serve us. Newer generations are living in an entirely different world than the generations before them.

James Altucher in his excellent book Choose Yourself explains how getting employed is becoming obsolete. Whole office buildings are shutting down because there are just less and less jobs. The more digital we become, the less people we need to employ.

The rate of going freelance or becoming an entrepreneur is growing extremely fast. People are realising that you cannot rely on getting a job anymore, they’re looking at ways to support themselves.

Of course, there is the growing need to actually enjoy and explore life and not spend your best years behind a desk helping someone else build their dreams. Location Independence, Freedom Based, Lifestyle Design saw a massive increase in the past decade with people becoming their own boss so that they could work in a manner that suits them best and build their own dream lives.

If you’re young, just out of University, approaching your 30’s and wondering “what should I do with my life?”, follow your heart. Figure out what you would really love to experience in life and go do that.

Never allow yourself to be stuck in between what you think you SHOULD do and what you actually WANT to do. Fuck the should, do what feels good.

You will absolutely regret giving your life to something you don’t enjoy doing and it will affect everything and everyone around you. The resentment and guilt you will feel for not following your heart will poison you and your life.

If it doesn’t feel good, there’s a reason for that, just like pain in the body, it’s there to tell you that you need to make a change, honour that. You cannot give others the best of you if you don’t put yourself first.

A really excellent book that will help you uncover how you want to FEEL in life so that you can design your goals around that is The Desire Map by Danielle Laporte. If you think about it, everything we do in life is based on feelings. Why spend your life feeling regret, guilt and frustration? If you can design your life to feel fulfilled, wouldn’t you? Well you can.

You are allowed to do what you want. You are allowed to follow your heart. You are allowed to put yourself first. You are allowed to say no to the things and people you don’t enjoy. You are allowed to choose yourself and in doing so, you inspire the next generation.

Go do the thing. xo

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  • Korhomme May 13, 2015 at 6:12 pm

    You’re right, Lisa…but. Do you want to change the world, leave something lasting? The only way you can do that is by having kids; kids are the future, kids are the only real legacy. Travelling with kids isn’t impossible, but difficult; and there comes a time when they should be educated. I don’t think there is any easy answer or any ‘right’ answer; people need to consider the alternatives, for kids usually means ‘settling down’, and travel means ‘doing my own thing’. Neither is right or wrong; it’s a choice, one that should be ‘informed’.

    • The Dame Intl May 14, 2015 at 5:41 pm

      Yeah of course, people should do whatever they want to do, my advice is to go travel before settling down and having kids 🙂

  • Natalie R. May 22, 2015 at 5:15 pm

    I say, travel. Some people can travel with kids, I find it very difficult.