Choosing Your Reality: Incredible Men

Posted on December 21, 2011 by The Dame

Im currently reading SARK’s Succulent Wild Woman and this line struck me: “there are a lot of incredible men out there“.

This is not something I have ever really thought. Ive been disappointed and hurt by men my entire life, despite also having many wonderful relationships, Ive just never said a sentence like that to myself or anyone else.

But doesnt it sound good though!? I would very much like to believe that sentence and so I now choose to believe that there are a lot of incredible men out there. That makes me feel really good and Im sure it makes all the incredible men out there shine when I am near BECAUSE I believe in them.

Isnt that wonderful?? To make myself into a type of light that reflects incredible men simply because I choose to believe in them?

What else can I change my perception about in order to make it my reality? The possibilities are endless!

How exciting!

Why Im Happy In A Long Distance Relationship

Posted on August 18, 2011 by The Dame

(Image shot by me at The Secret Garden Party 2011)

My boyfriend only lives a 5 hour drive away and we make an effort to see each other every couple of weeks and Im totally ok with it.

I have time to miss him
I have time to get on with my own life
I have time to appreciate him
I have time to think about us
I never lose my individuality
It gives us time to grow into each other
We never lose the spark
We have something to talk about when we see each other

If we weren’t long distance, we would be in each other’s pockets and our relationship would move too fast and my head would be a mess without the time to sort through the emotions and thoughts that come with being in a new relationship.

Being in this relationship has made me cement my feelings that there should always be space and time apart in a relationship.

You need to remain individuals in a partnership instead of two sides of the same coin. Losing sight of who you are as an individual because you are too caught up in your other half is one of the reasons why relationships deteriorate.

Whenever I feel mopey and am missing him, I ask myself, do you miss him because you are bored, or because you miss him?

Often I feel like missing someone is a sign of an emotional crutch that is needed and that is dangerous. You should never rely on someone to make you feel the way you need to feel. It isn’t someone elses job. We don’t like it when someone relies on us to make them feel good, so don’t do it to the one you’re with.

So, instead of thinking, “I miss the way he makes me laugh all the time”, I think “I love the way he makes me laugh all the time”. That way, I’m appreciating him as an individual and not making him my emotional crutch which takes away who he really is and makes him into something I think I need.

Be careful of that gaping hole inside you that thinks it’s a different person sized hole. It’s not. It only fits you and only you can fill it.

Having someone love and support me from afar means I get to fill in the gaps when he is away. It’s teaching me what I need to give myself instead of relying on someone else to fill me up.

I’m learning that I have to take responsibility for my own well being, physically, mentally and most importantly emotionally. And funnily enough, all those things tie together and begin with physically. If I don’t exercise daily, my head gets muddy and I get anxious and my thoughts go south on myself and my relationship and they take my emotions down with them.

When I take care of myself first, everything else falls into place perfectly.

Have you ever been in a long distance relationship? What is the experience teaching you? Let us know in the comments!

Serving Suggestion: How To Keep The Spark In The Relationship

Posted on August 14, 2011 by The Dame

(Source Unknown)

+ change up your routine. if you always call at a certain time, or wait for the phone to ring, get on with your own life first.

+ dont always be available, if he is used to contacting you at a specific time, or knows youre always there, change it up a bit, make him wonder where you are.

+ get a life. do all the things you want to do and let him fit in around what makes you happy and fulfilled first.

(Source Unknown)

+ dont let him be the one to give your life meaning and purpose. get that from elsewhere like working out or studying or spending time doing something you really enjoy.

+ dont cancel your plans for him, let him know that you come first.

+ do something different in bed than your usual 4-step shag.

(Source Unknown)

+ let him be the man of the house, even if you can do it yourself, let him do it, stroking his ego makes him feel needed and desirable – hello sexy sex again!

+ dont criticise him or complain about him, and especially not in front of other people. there are better ways to get better behaviour from him.

+ when he does something you like, praise him a lot and tell him he is “the best!”, you will guarantee more of that good behaviour!

(Click for source)

+ let him know other men find you attractive, but dont be nasty about it. look good, take care of yourself and maybe casually mentioned you got whistled at today, remind him youre a catch

+ never forget that you are a prize to be won!

+ never compromise yourself so much to keep the peace that you lose yourself entirely.

(Source Unknown)

+ always stand up for yourself. men respect a woman who will not let him get away with shit. – remember, people will treat you how you let them treat you.

+ surprises always add a spark! do something you both enjoy completely out of the blue, or something youve always wanted to do!

+ take care of yourself and your happiness first.