Baby, Let Me Upgrade Ya

Posted on February 8, 2012 by The Dame

Hello again!

I’ve not disappeared I promise! I have just done a complete about turn in my life and have been busy finding my bearings. So, a quick update on where I am at:-

I moved back to London. London is over-crowded, over-priced and smelly. Many people have lost their humanity here and it’s very consumerist. But, my experience is what I perceive it to be, so I soldier on.

I have started taking dancing classes, Jazz and Contemporary, as well as Screen Acting classes (my first was tonight) in an attempt to find out what Im truly talented at and because I would like to have a career as a Performing artist. (As well as all the other things I get up to!).

Acting class was fun! Its held at the Finsbury Town Hall and Im new to Finsbury so I had a wonder down Exmouth Market and popped into Morito for a red wine and a tapas plate of lamb chops that were absolutely oozing and dripping all over me and yes I devoured the fat because I can! (Thankfully the lemon juice seasoning and a glass of red wine prevented me from feeling sick from all the richness of the perfectly cooked lamb chops)

The staff were lovely hipster looking guys, one with a turned up ended mustache and the other with some geometric tattoos. The place was PACKED and the music they played could have been from one of my playlists.

I am broke but I decided to treat myself to practice feeling good and the way I want to feel every day of my life.

I stumbled across this blog today The Londoner and got spanked by Inspiration so hard I’ve been furiously writing affirmations in my notebook that I take with me everywhere! Rosie, the girl who writes the blog may be rich and skinny, but I definitely want to upgrade my life as much as possible.

I may have been born in the gutter but I don’t have to spend my life there. I have every right to want the best life and currently living in an absolute shit-hole (think unkept dormitory) is putting a serious fire under my ass to make things happen and live the life I desire.

So, in the very near future you will see the following from me:
- more blogging here, and an overhaul to the site to look professional and sleek
- photography of street fashion and food and unusual/interesting places in London
- interviews with people who have unconventional careers

And in the future (i.e. by the end of the year) you will see that I have:
- learned aerial hoop to the point that I can perform on it in a professional show
- become proficient in pole dancing also to professional performance level
- internet and tv presenting
- travel features

I intend to be paid to be my magnificent, inspiring self. I intend to be paid to do the things I am passionate about experiencing. I intend to live a life of beauty, passion and inspiration and bring those same things to the lives of others.

This year, I will shine.

Transition Time

Posted on January 17, 2012 by The Dame

It seems to be that absolutely every one I know is going through some sort of major transition. The theme seems to be that we are all losing everything we have; homes, jobs, relationships and not sure where to go next. If this sounds like you, don’t worry, it’s happening to everyone right now!

I really think it’s a universal thing. I feel like the world is getting shaken up in a major way and people are starting to wake up to themselves and to each other. We have spent so long on the grind, “doing jobs we hate to buy things we don’t need to impress people we don’t like”.

I’ve started reading a book by Jungian analyst Marian Woodman and she talks about the “birth canal” in terms of it being painful going through changes in our lives. I think this is why I had such a break down earlier this month, I had to lose everything to realise what I really, truly wanted.

And so I am happy to update you on what is happening with me:

I am moving back to London into a creative’s community right next door to where my best friend lives.

I put myself on a couple casting websites last week and now have an audition class and casting on the 28th and have been asked to send in a head shot for a feature film by Ron Howard.

I have aerial hoop classes, dance classes and pole classes lined up for when I hit London and have started doing work out DVDs to get myself into some sort of shape for when they start!

I am feeling good about life! It feels Iike I’m coming out the other end of the birth canal. I know where I’m going and what I want to do – be a performer. This has always been my dream and unfortunately I strayed from the path for quite a few years, but it’s better that I do this now than never.

I also plan on taking some acting courses and finding out what sort of singing voice (if at all) I have at some singing classes.

If you’re a creative living in London and want to meet up and even possibly be featured on my website, email me! Speaking of which, there will be a lot more interviews of people doing their own thing up on my site in the coming months so make sure you’re subscribed!

I’m excited and motivated! I LOVE performing, especially in dance. I am completely without professional training and utterly out of shape, but that’s even more exciting to me because my goal is to go from this to being trained and in perfect dancer shape to be able to apply to agencies and of course, be booked for shows!

I’m also excited to finally start working on the three burlesque performances that have been dancing around in my head for years.

By the end of this year, I want to be with a few agencies, regularly booked doing dance shows and at least be able to do some sort of acting if I feel its something I still want to do after Ive had some training. TBH, I have no idea how I’m supposed to remember my lines!

Are any of you going through a disruptive period at the moment? Lost and don’t know what to do next? How are you coping?

(Please click images for source)

I Want To Move To Paris

Posted on January 7, 2012 by The Dame

I want to go somewhere there is art and passion and liberal thinking. I want to wear kaftans and a top knot and ride a bike with a baguette jutting out to my loft apartment where I paint and write and make love to beautiful young men who let me photograph them in black and white.

Bedroom Voyeurism

Posted on January 3, 2012 by The Dame

I was doing a think this morning and I realised my bedroom/office was looking pretty so I took some pictures of it…

I am planning on finally visiting Paris for my birthday in February. I didnt make it last year so I didnt get round to reading the books I got on Paris. Now I will. On top of the books is a Desert Rose Crystal.

Desert Rose: A gypsum. Lt. brown. Gently grounding; clarifies thinking and mental vision, perception. Quiets worry, brings out practicality. (Related to Selenite.) Quiets the mind. Used to access past/future lives, assists in bring material persuits related to business. Provides flexibility to one’s nature, strengthens decisions, align the spinal column and removes energy blockage. Stabilizes epileptic disorders.

For christmas my mom bought me this funny 2012 diary. On the cover it says “sieze the afternoon” (Im hardly every up before 11am) and inside it has little quips like, “cleaned bathroom. Will never let it get dirty again”. Also, a rubber sleeve for my iPhone is essential because I have “spaz hands” – a nickname I got when I was a waitress once. Before I broke all the crockery… Seriously, its like my hands get bored while Im holding something!

My car key has it’s own chain and always gets laughs when I take it into the garage. Someone said it’s a guy’s keychain, but I’m owning it.

Diptyque’s Baies scent is my favourite and I always have one of their candles. They are expensive but they last for ages. I found this La Perla fragrance while asking for directions in their store in New York, it’s called J’aime. Yes, those are red sequinned pasties, to remind me to do this custom fetish video for someone who has a thing for them… The watch is by Guess and quiet large, I only ever wear it when Im leaving the house and often take it off because it sticks to my arm and that bugs me.

This is my favourite of the three Tretchikoff mugs I got for christmas from one of my fetish clients. She is resting on my passport which is encased in a rad travel map cover and thats resting on my Paris “research” books.

This is my bedside table except its at the end of my bed because the way my room is shaped means my bed is wedged into an alcove of sorts where there is no space for the bedside table to go alongside the bed. I got these speakers for christmas from another client of mine and they are constantly playing music. He also sent me the Mason Pearson hairbrush which I love but think is grossly overpriced – glad I didnt pay for it! I also have a collection of feathered earrings. Bumble and Bumble’s Thickening Spray is awesome if you have fine hair like I do!

This is my dresser. Im slowly collecting prints of my favourite artists but in the meantime, some of them exist as a print off from the internet. The framed prints are by Rik Lee which you will know if you are a regular reader. The smaller framed print with the skull rosary hanging on it is by Amy Duncan who is a tattoo artist in Melbourne, Australia. To her right is a piece by famous pinup artist of the 1950′s, Alberto Vargas. This image is always striking to me whenever I see it and when the pound shop (dollar store to those across the pond) gets new black frames in, she will be framed. I dont know who did the stilettos in the other picture, but I will probably have them tattooed one day.

The apple and the Russian Doll cats are from my mother. She bought them on a cruise around Russia. The apple has a Gustav Klimt picture on it, he is another artist I love. The card on the left I got at the Erotica exhibition in London last year. It’s by a lady who does beautiful erotic wrapping paper and printed plates. The bottle in the back was a bottle of cider and I just loved the pinup design!

These are my anti-depressants. I am all for natural treatment of ailments and since I was on anti-depressants for two years and just become numb and emotionless, I recently came off them. I do a lot of research into treating ourselves holistically and naturally. Zinc deficiency has been linked to depression in women. So now I take 100mg a day with the 5HTP and feel a hundred times better!

I have been so out of touch with my natural creativity due to depression and the resulting medication. I have now stocked up on coloured markers and crayons for drawing with! Next to my Macbook is my new A4 notebook which has become essential to me. Atop of that is my iPad2 which was given to me last christmas. It is covered in a GelaSkin print by Colin Thompson which is a very colourful image of a quirky bookshelf. I mostly play Zynga games (I play Dream Zoo and Forestville because Ive finished Cityville which took me MONTHS.) and watch BBC programs (Escape To The Country) on it.

My room is small, so I had nowhere to put all my shoes, my then boyfriend bought this bookshelf for me from a thrift store and it now houses all my books and shoes. I read all kinds of things. Here you can see books by Dr Jonathan Wright who is a Nutritional Therapist and very very forward thinking when it comes to healing the body naturally. I also got the Gerson Therapy book because people close to me have cancer and I wanted to know more about this cancer cure by diet program. Those are fake Louboutins I found in a designer thrift store in Ipswich and Cats is my favourite musical theatre. I still remember the first time I saw it and the feeling that I belonged on the stage. I guess the internet has become my stage now Im also into self sufficient living, feminism and food!

I think this picture is hilarious because of the juxtaposition of the philosophy book and the conga dancing skeleton… That skeleton has a freaking skirt on with it’s hands on it’s hips and when you press the button the conga plays and it freaking dances. It instantly puts me in a good mood. I still havent read the Nietzsche book…

Every pair of shoes have a story dont they? Those brown ones are YSL rip offs and they are so comfortable. I once spent 3 straight hours dancing maniacally in a Breaks club in them and they handled perfectly. The scarf is purple and grey with skulls on. The leopard print peeptoes look amazing when my toes are painted red and are a favourite with my foot fetish customers.

These clear 5 inch heels are my favourite. Especially when I am doing foot fetish webcam because they show off my feet while keeping them in a sexy arch. I guess you can take the girl out of the strip club but you cant take the strip club out of the girl… The red strappy fetish heels were a gift from a customer.

These red heels are my absolute favourite. Ive never worn these purple lace shoes I just like the way they look. I totally need to dust my book/shoe shelf!

I recently bought ballet shoes. Real ones. For doing ballet in. I found a local adult ballet class and I cant wait to start. I did ballet up until I was 7yrs old, I was totally crap at it. I could never remember the french names of movements beyond the plié and one teacher got mad at me because my back is always curved. It’s not, I just have a really round ass!

More fetish heels that were gifts. The ones in the foreground are impossible to walk in if you dont have flexible ankles but they are very very sexy looking. The studded ones in the back are painful to wear but my customers love them.

Wedges are the way forward, seriously. For some reason stiletto heels just dont support you enough. Wedges can be worn longer. I never wear these haha. But then I live in a town where wearing heels is dressing up… The booties in the back are so done. I wore them while performing in a rock burlesque group I was in and the heels are shot.

My black boots collection. At the back are suede wedge boots which I love wearing because they give my 5’6 frame height. But the flat biker boots I wear All.The.Time. Comfortable and easy to slip on and run out the door. Then come a pair of impossibly uncomfortable stiletto fetish boots made famous by Lady Gaga, I only ever wear them if a customer has a boot fetish. The knackered boots in the front are my thigh high boots which I wore when I was a stripper because I was that badass rock-chick stripper in a tartan miniskirt and a mischievous scowl that spat in your drink while waving my ass in your face.

I could stare at this picture forever…

What are your favourite things about your bedroom? What do you wish you had in your bedroom?

Why Im My Own Boss

Posted on January 2, 2012 by The Dame

(Source)

One day in my early twenties after years of working desk jobs in the corporate world I asked myself “when do I get to do what I want to do?”.

I realised that 90% of my time and money is going to someone else. Someone faceless, someone who doesnt feel like they’re playing fair. What about me?

All my friend’s around me kept telling me that “that’s just how life is” and “you just make the best of your lot”, but I couldnt help feeling that I wasnt put on this earth to be some kind of human machine on an endless treadmill designed by a society I was completely out of touch with in my heart.

(Source)

I have been fired from or have left every single job I have ever had. I would reach such an unbearable level of anxiety that I simply had to get out. From the benign small talk to the rigid protocols that never seemed to make sense, I was slowly dying inside.

I began to fantasise that I would just get up from my desk and walk right out of that life. Eventually I did. I walked out of a Personal Assistant job to four Financial Directors at a very large Telecommunications company. (Ugh, I get shudders just writing such a boring sentence!)

I had no idea where I was going or what I was going to do next, I just knew that I couldn’t slowly commit suicide this way.

That was close to ten years ago and I am still discovering what Im made of and what my gift to the world is. I think Im finally on the right path in the right town metaphorically speaking. I went to Strip City, Disco Land and Horse Country (more on those another time) and all kinds of things in between trying my best to stay away from the black hole that was work wear and filing cabinets.

I currently scavenge an income, sometimes doing fetish phone calls or webcam (boring is clearly not my thing!) and sometimes asking my mom to help pay my bills. Ive never felt happier. I LOVE writing for this site. I LOVE going on adventures to develop content for this site. I KNOW I will eventually make an income online doing what I love, Ive seen it in my mind for a long time. I can FEEL that Im on the right path.

And yes, there are times where it gets so bad financially that I start thinking I should go and get a “real job”, but then the panic attacks start and I know that’s not the right decision and that I am not practicing The Art of Just.

(Source)

Honouring my heart has been the greatest gift I have ever given myself. It has made me stronger and inspired countless other people who follow my journey online.

I may not have much in the way of financial stability, yet, but I am at peace with myself and the world in as far as my daily existence goes and I am enjoying every new day that brings new opportunities to learn and grow closer to my true purpose.

There is now a whole industry dedicated to helping you break free of the confines of a stifling corporate job. These people do it best: Chris Guillebeau | The Art of Non-Conformity, Escape from Cubicle Nation. Read the first of many to come interviews I’ve held with people leading unconventional lives here.

Are you your own boss? Do you wish to be? What’s it like for you being in charge and what do you think it will take for you to step into that role? Let us know in the comments below and stay tuned for my story on what stepping out of the status quo has taught me.

Looking Back At 2011

Posted on December 22, 2011 by The Dame

My 2011 Highlights

Meeting Jethro and our 6 months of an awesome relationship full of love, laughter and lessons.
Giving up drinking for the month of July.
Starting this website!
Visiting New York for my birthday and getting to meet and hang out with Jasmin of VintageVandalizm.com.
Attending the Torture Garden Valentines Ball with awesome close friends and meeting Justin of Follow2Square as well as having an extraordinary night out!
Attending The Secret Garden Party as a Lifeguard and getting to experience the fantastical world of this unique festival and take some awesome photos!
Moving in to a rad house with my good friend Katey and filming My Drunk Pizza after a night out on the tiles as well as just about every day which is full of food and laughter (and some tears) and of course our Big Boy.
Spending a week at a low impact off-grid community in Wales to experience the lifestyle and spending time with some wonderful people and animals.
Attending my good friend’s beautiful hand-made wedding.
Performing as part of Rock Burlesque group Midnight Candy to raise money for breast cancer.

Little things that rocked my world this year:

* beach walks with my neighbour’s dog * fresh organic local farm produce delivered to my door each week * getting a car * painting my toenails purple and glitter making them look like disco toes * getting down filled pillows – dreamy! * adding a memory foam mattress topper to my bed * living with three siamese cats – amazing! * my best friend in Australia visiting * growing my hair long * suntanning topless in our backyard * buying a longboard skateboard and bombing a hill with my boyfriend * running in the forest * camping in the forest * walking in an unknown pitch dark forest with just a headlamp to guide us * lots of time spent in nature * installing a wooden floor with just hand tools * hanging out with four wild horses in a field * receiving many free gifts incl. a Macbook Pro, DSLR camera and iPad2 * care packages from my mom * starting my collection of Rik Lee prints * fancy dress! * cooking! * 2 Broke Girls / Sons of Anarchy / Breaking Bad / The Big Bang Theory / True Blood / Hart of Dixie * Taking kelp to stop my hair falling out / Taking bee propolis to finally end my acne! * dark chocolate * vanilla lattés * having my underarms waxed – MUCH better than shaving! * learning about nutritional therapy * being in a loving and fun relationship * photographing everything * my housemate’s home made pizza *

What were the highlights of YOUR year? Let us know in the comments!

My Favourite Photographs Taken In 2011

Posted on December 18, 2011 by The Dame

Im thinking about turning some of these into a 2012 calendar with inspiring messages edited onto them and within the days of the calendar, would you support my site by buying one? Let me know in the comments!

My 2012 Bucket List Vision Board

Posted on December 16, 2011 by The Dame

Get more tattoos, namely Xena the Warrior Princess, Mae West and Juliette Lewis.

Visit another country, hopefully meet Leslie of Purple-ish Boots.

Earn a living from this website.
Take ballet classes.
Surf warm waters.

Write an e-book.
Take up painting.

Take singing lessons.
Get involved in amateur dramatics.
Volunteer locally.
Become accredited in some way as a healer/leader.
Meet one of my heros.
Learn an aerial art.

Accomplish financial stability.
Create a passive stream of income.
Go to a comedy night once a month.
Plant and harvest a food garden.

Donate to good people who need it.
Ride a horse with no saddle or bridle.

Crafty Task For You!

Browse the internet (Tumblr or Pinterest is a good place to start!), or magazines for pictures that really speak to you and make your heart sing, print them out, cut them up and stick them to a cork board or on your bedroom or office wall above your desk, then send me a photograph of your 2012 Vision Board for my next post featuring your very own vision boards! Include a few words on the things you want to experience in 2012. I cant wait to see them!

What would you like to experience and accomplish in 2012? Let us know in the comments!

This Week, I Am Currently Lovin’

Posted on June 3, 2011 by The Dame

My man's idea of breakfast in bed

My considerate, thoughtful, generous, giving, funny, good looking, loving, open minded, great listener boyfriend who takes fabulous care of me and feeds me great food while supporting my dreams and listening to me navigate it all as I go along. Thank you Universe.
Being in the countryside, walks in the woods and fields, drives past endless paddocks of horses, sheep and cows, quaint old English homes collected in bends and valleys along our road trip journeys. The feeling of total content I get when I’m surrounded by countryside.
Catching up with friends from South Africa all week which has involved lots of bi-lingual language talking, joke telling and laughing, eating traditional South African food like “pap en wors” (corn meal and sausages made South African style) with sauces from back home. Watching South African comedy DVDs. Talking about the changes back home, good and bad. Advice from friends I’ve known for years.
Swollen period boobs – while painful, fun to marvel at!
Sunshine and warmth for a change!