I’ve recently come to admit that I am well and truly fickle. Maybe its because Im an air sign and thats why I change like the wind? A good friend of mine says Im too bright for my own good and have a very short attention span as a result.

I havent forgotten you, or this website. Ive just been… trying to find my happy place here in London I guess.

Im still on the hunt.

I am completely controlled by my moods. If Im not in the mood for something, it doesnt happen. I walked out of my acting class last week because I was fuming under the bonnet and really needed to be in a kick boxing class instead. I cant have normal conversations with people when Im in that frame of mind. In the end it all turned to dramatic tears on my way home, and yet the next day I woke up and it was all gone. Like a storm in the night.

Moving back to London has been a rollercoaster and has taken some getting used to. (By gosh! Am I actually cutting myself some slack here!? Thats new!) Ive had to get used to living conditions that are less than desirable and at times down right disgusting. For double the price. Ive had to learn to find something to do every day because the beach or a bunch of friends is no longer a 5min walk away. Ive had to realise I have no idea what Im doing or even what I want to do really, because my whims change like four seasons in a day.

And this is why you will find a rash of posts on here from me and then nothing for a while. So I want to thank you for sticking with me while I continue to discover myself.

(that she doesnt deserve it and is dishonouring Marilyn Monroe by doing it), and then I remembered that on my current path of enlightenment, I am making an effort to not be judgemental and to instead go into my life with love.  That got me asking myself why I was being judgmental.

Was there something in me that I didnt like that made me want to make these judgements or are their unconscious beliefs in my mind that brought these judgements up?

People who “mess their lives up” do it because they are hurting and dont know how else to live. I know, Ive been there and Ive been damaged by other people who’ve been there.

I cant judge her. I dont know her story.

Im one of those people who dont go, “oh! its devestating! how terrible!” I mean, she was 79 and very ill, its to be expected, its not like she was ever going to be in another movie, everything we knew her for was already in the past anyway.

However, what an incredible woman.  Yes, incredibly beautiful, but as an actress and woman:- phenomenal.

Cleopatra blew my mind, not just for the amazing costumes and sets (and running length!) but for her impeccable acting.  I first saw her in National Velvet and was stunned by her ability even as a young child.

Many young celebrities can learn a lot from her, like using their fame for a good cause.

I hope she now rests in peace with her beloved Richard Burton and Michael Jackson.

Please visit my Tumblr here: http://thedame.tumblr.com while I work on the new site! Thank you