Comparison Kills

September 15, 2014


I just watched this brilliant poem by a young girl at 21 talking to her 16 year old self. In it, she says the above sentence: “stop comparing, start self-caring”.

Part of self doubt is having the nasty habit of comparing ourselves to others. I do it all the time. I want to be fabulous and pioneering like Gala Darling, have the opportunities that Zoe London gets to experience, travel like The Londoner and have a Youtube following like Melon Lady. How. do. they. do. it?

Well, they just do. They follow their noses and focus on themselves and what they want to create and put out into the world instead of what everyone else is doing. They are inspired and motivated by the people they admire, sure, but they don’t let other people’s highlight reel dim the drive of their own behind the scenes.

I am SO guilty of spending too much time wishing I was better and more talented and more fashionable and more popular instead of just BEING who I am and putting that out into the world, consistently and with all my heart. That kind of dedication, to yourself and your own passions are what grow your brand and your audience and eventually become what you can turn into a product for others to use, enjoy and be inspired by.

Part of self-care is being kind to ourselves, is being ok with where we’re at and how long it’s taking us and how hard it seems for each of us. I have really high expectations of myself and others and the world in general, it causes a lot of anxiety and sometimes depression when I feel like I’m just not getting anywhere, but I have to just breath and practice the Art of Just, just trust, just keep going.

We absolutely cannot be self made if we don’t self care first. Becoming a self made dame often means endless hours working on our businesses and being so into building something for ourselves that we forget to eat, to socialise, to move our bodies and this can bring our energy down and when your energy is down, you can trip onto a slippery slope of comparing yourself to those you think are better than you.

This is when we need to stop, go outside, take a bath, make our favourite meal, call a friend, breathe, switch off, journal and start again.

Just like taking a mega dose of Vitamin C when we feel a cold coming on, we gotta take care of ourselves in order not to catch comparisonitis!

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  • Amelia September 15, 2014 at 10:37 pm

    A good post. I do this too. It’s so silly! But so human. Made me think, thank you xx

    • The Dame September 18, 2014 at 1:51 pm

      It’s had me thinking too Amelia! xx

  • Taylor Hearts Travel September 18, 2014 at 1:13 pm

    I think we’re all guilty of this sort of behaviour at one time or another. Thanks for sharing such an honest post. 🙂 x

    • The Dame September 18, 2014 at 1:52 pm

      Thanks for your comment Taylor, I’ve been so much more aware of how often I compare myself ever since I posted this!