Two Videos You Need To Make Time To Watch

Posted on May 1, 2012 by The Dame

The first is Gala Darling‘s talk at TED about her Radical Self Love movement, highlighting some of the ways she has learned to love her radical self and help others to do so too.

The second video is Kris Carr, best selling author of her books on surviving and living with cancer by managing her health sustainably and taking her message to the world about how our current lifestyles are making us sick. This video is almost an hour long but very important to watch, below are some notes I took while watching it.

Participate in your own longevity and well being.
Inflamation comes from what you’re eating, drinking and thinking. Cut out negative food, drinks and thoughts. Inflamation is illness and pain.
Go gluten, dairy, meat and sugar free and watch your life turn around for the better.
Swap white rice and pasta for brown rice, quinoa, millet and buckwheat.
Cut out refined and processed food. If its made in nature, eat it, if its made in a factory, dont eat it.
Get a vision for your life and become a visionary.
Your lympth system is your waste disposal unit but it doesnt work if you dont move, find a fun way to get yourself moving and raise your heartbeat every day in order to take out the trash.

You Choose Your Beliefs

Posted on April 25, 2011 by The Dame

I love this quote from Gabourey Sidibe who played ‘Precious’ in the movie Precious.

So, with her way of looking at things, what do you want to choose to be in your life? Its up to you, its your choice. Who you are is your choice.

Choose to be beautiful!

Choose to be happy!

Choose to feel like a success!

How will you carry yourself from now on? How will the world see you according to your own self-beliefs?

Its up to you! Just choose it and live it!

Be Careful What You Say To Yourself

Posted on April 24, 2011 by The Dame

Masaru Emoto is a Japanese scientist who did an experiment with water where he froze water droplets in different glasses to which he stuck a different word, some negative, some positive, to see if those words effected the way the water crystallized. He found that the water with negative words crystallized into malformed crystals and those with positive words crystallized into perfectly formed crystals. Read more about it here.

Love and Gratitude

You Make Me Sick

We are made of 70% water, what you say to yourself effects you.

If you speak with love and appreciation to yourself, you will grow beautifully!

If you speak negatively, you will destroy yourself.

Think about someone you know who comes from an abusive home, where someone in their family is verbally abusive and says nasty things. That person is stunted and wounded, like a tree that you’ve been watering with chemicals instead of pure water.

Now think of someone you know who comes from a loving home, where the family is supportive and kind, that person is most likely a confident and successful person.

Now apply that knowledge to yourself. If you are saying things to yourself that you wouldn’t say to your best friend, stop doing that.

If you want to be better, stop talking to yourself about how you’re not good enough. What you say to yourself becomes your reality.

Start appreciating yourself and your potential and watch your life change for the better.

Every single time you think “I’m not good enough”, replace that negative thought with “I AM good enough!” and repeat it three or more times.

You owe it to yourself to live a life you enjoy instead of spending your days wasting your life because you think you don’t deserve to have one. You do. Honour that gift.

Why Jealousy and Jealous Combat Gets You Nowhere

Posted on April 19, 2011 by The Dame

For reasons usually blamed on patriarchal conditioning, women tend to be of the jealous sort. Judging by their behaviour, Im assuming they never give thought to why they are jealous of other women, never understanding that jealousy is born of insecurity and insecurity means not believing in your own value.

Because we dont believe we are worthy or have any value and we see someone who we think has more of both, a lot of us resort to jealousy and competition, even going as far as causing trouble for the assumed competition, trying to eradicate her or bring her down. Women do this both in relationship and in business.

This kind of behaviour however makes you look worse instead of making her look bad which was your intention. Jealousy is a very obvious insecurity issue.

So I propose a new behaviour, where you support your competition, it makes you look like the better person and shows that you believe in yourself/product in turn making you trustworthy (essential for sales, and everything is sales) as well as desirable. If you are strong enough to not be phased by competition, this behaviour makes you even stronger!

The same works for when you are in a relationship. If you focus your attention on the girl you find a threat, your man will too. If you ignore her, he wont look her way, he will look more at you because he is used to girls being jealous and insecure. When you are not jealous and insecure, you are 100% more desirable than the girl you thought was a threat.

Of course, some may have to fake it till they make it. So, despite feeling incredibly jealous and insecure, youre going to pretend that you arent bothered until you really arent!

And in the meantime, youre going to spend time making lists in your head or even on paper (be creative!) of all the things that make you valuable and worthwhile.

It is YOUR job to understand that you are, and always will be, good enough. No one else can do this for you. You have to make the time and effort to truly understand your worth.

Everything in life becomes easier when you make this essential discovery.

Good luck! Let us know in the comments how you are going along your journey of self discovering and how you have dealth with jealousy in the past.

Reader Question: How Do You Learn to Love and Accept Your Body?

Posted on April 13, 2011 by The Dame

Hi, thanks for your question.

To be honest, its as simple as making the choice to love and accept your body, even on your off days. Change your mind, change your life.

When we self hate its because we are comparing ourselves to others or not taking care of ourselves properly.

The obvious answer would be to stop doing both. You will never look like anyone else but yourself but at least you can look your best self if you put in the time and effort to do so. That means exercising and eating right.

Its all down to choice. Choose to be the best you can be, choose to ignore the negative thoughts, choose to be grateful that you have all your working limbs and senses, that your body can take you to your place of work, that it can let you swim, run and be hugged.

Whenever you get a negative thought, think of three things you love about your body then go on with your day.

I hope this helped! Do you have any other tips you can add to this? Let us know in the comments! Dont be shy!

Currently Loving!

Posted on April 7, 2011 by The Dame

Winning the pub quiz second week in a row! 24 pints of cider between 4 of us! (ouch!)
Sunshine!!! After a gruelling UK winter right after I got back from 2.5yrs in Australia, I am glad to see the sun again!
Starting my day with a green smoothie, definitely feeling the difference – I am much more positive and energised these days
Stocking up on super foods; Maca Powder, Cacao Powder and Bee Pollen!
Receiving an email from my biggest fan telling me to expect the new iPad 2 to be delivered to me soon!!!

Getting up early and watching an epic morning set of swell roll in, then watching a guy in his business suit beg off work before changing into his wetsuit and running down to the beach! Brilliant! Wetsuits are the only suits anyone should wear!
Spending the day organising and grooming; wax, hair dyed, room tidied, things sorted, lists made!
The local backpacker’s hostel being a proverbial lounge/meeting place for everyone who ever lived there and who now still lives in the town and in turn always being warmly welcomed when I walk in and someone I know always hanging out there.
Actually feeling good about all the parties/events (bar my friend’s wedding this weekend) I will be missing because I have taken a sabbatical from alcohol and socialising in the presence of men in order to re-wire the neurons in my head that are addicted to destructive behaviours. (Dont know what Im talking about? Watch “What The Bleep Do We Know“)
Enjoying music from Doves, The Stone Roses and Melody Gardot
Telling myself and my body nice things to wire my neurons positively!
Looking forward to my friend’s wedding this weekend where I will get to see just about everyone I know in this town and watch two of the best people get hitched.
Being able to still fit into the special occasion dress I bought in Australia that I havent yet worn!
Smudging myself with Sage given to me by a friend after a particularly emotional day this week
Having said friend to talk to when I needed someone most
Said friend owning my previous cat and him being a huge, pillow shaped ball of cuddly fluff to bury my face in
Being pinned into my bed by two Siamese cats and the feeling of relief when they finally bugger off and I can stretch out!
Laughter!!!
Living in a town where I am 110% guaranteed to bump into someone I know whenever I step out my front door

Taking the dog down to the harbour to see if we can say “hi” to the resident seals
Really enjoying a waitressing shift in a restaurant on the beach, made a nice change to the way my brain normally functions
Well behaved dogs! That you can take for walks off-leash who dont attack other dogs or run away or run into the street!
The beautiful flowers in my room making me smile each time I look at them!
An hour long chat on the phone to my mother, who despite us being back in the same country, I hardly ever see because of her work
Positive thinking! Manifesting! Attracting! Vibrating! Yes-ing!
Beautiful online friends and those who support me and the emails they send me to say thank you for inspiring them!
Receiving gifts!
Going without make up!

Who is your best self?

Posted on March 20, 2011 by The Dame

Ive just been reading a great post by Steve Pavlina about aligning yourself with who you are to discover your true goals and switching off the influences around you so that you can get to know who your best self is so that you are truly focused on what you want from your life.

His question was: Take a look at your best self. What is s/he like? Can you clearly describe your best self’s character, personality, attitude, and beliefs?

This is what I came up with:

My best self wakes up every day energised, positive and ready for the day ahead. She exercises, eats clean, works hard to pay her bills and become debt free while also putting money away to travel. My best self does not drink or smoke or make bad decisions with men. My best self is desirable because she makes people feel good when they are around her. My best self does not interrupt. My best self is interested in others. My best self feels good every day.

Who is your best self? And what does that mean for your life design?

How To Have An Amazing Relationship (With Yourself)

Posted on February 26, 2011 by The Dame

I personally love dating myself. Im a great cook, Im really funny, Im AWESOME in bed, I believe in myself, I take myself for long walks, shopping trips, lunch, my friends like me, my pets like me, Im free to travel anywhere at any time and Im not too bad to look at

It’s really important to learn to love yourself. It may be cliché but you cant love someone else until you love yourself first.

What does that mean? It means figuring out what you love about yourself, what makes you cool – IN YOUR eyes.

And uh, yeh, it IS okay to be nice to yourself and to think nicely of yourself. Ignore those people who say youre being vain, ignore the voices in your head that tell you that its not OK to have nice thoughts about yourself.

I want each of you reading this to give yourself permission to make a list of all the things you like about yourself, all the accomplishments youve made in your life and try to remember all the compliments youve received, or nice things people have said to you. On the daily. Train your brain to pick out the nice things and not the nasty things and soon the nasty things dont seem so nasty. Trust Mama Dame!

Which reminds me, the first rule of loving yourself is learning to accept compliments!

Think about it, how do you feel when you compliment someone and they dont accept it? Awkward right? I mean you wouldnt have said anything to them (at least I hope not!) if you didnt mean what you were saying. So, how do you think people feel when they give you a compliment and you shove it away or sweep it under the rug or pretend it wasnt said?

From now on, you accept compliments graciously. Even if you dont believe it, you say thank you to the person who gave it to you. Compliments are verbal gifts and you should never reject a gift. Everyone loves giving gifts and you need to learn to love receiving them. It is completely OK and The Dame encourages it!

So now, the reason you want to get into an awesome relationship with yourself is so that you dont get into a shitty one with someone else. Shitty relationships with other people usually happen because we dont really like ourselves or know ourselves. Disaster!

If youre not in a relationship, its OK! Its a perfect time to spend time with yourself. What type of movies do you like? What kind of food do you like? What makes you laugh? What flowers make you happy? Do you like animals and kids? What about long walks on the beach?

Find out all the things about yourself that you would like a loved one in a relationship with you to know. Find out your loves and your limits. But most of all, find out what makes you cool.

See, this is the important part. When we know what makes us cool, likable and desirable, we dont settle for someone who doesnt see it in us. You learn to know what you deserve and you make damn sure the person lucky enough to be with you knows it too and counts themselves lucky.

If you wouldnt count yourself lucky to date yourself, why would anyone else?

See?

So from now on my lovelies, you are going to give yourself permission to be nice to yourself, to like who you are – including your quirks and your snorting laugh – and to accept compliments. Youre also not going to let anyone make you feel bad about yourself because they dont know you like you do and they never will.

See how its so important to know yourself? So that you know what you deserve. People will treat you how you let them treat you and if you dont know how you deserve to be treated, that could end up being a shitty situation.

Good luck and let me know how it goes!

xo

How To Be Skinny

Posted on February 21, 2011 by The Dame

This week I got a question from a 14yr old girl asking me how to be skinny. She asked me to give her a schedule of diet and exercise. Here it is:

Monday:

Look in the mirror and list everything you love about your body.
Dont eat or drink anything with sugar in it.
Do something you love and that makes you laugh.
Make someone else laugh.
Throw away all fashion/women’s magazines.
Get active doing something you enjoy, dancing, surfing, running, building, fixing, yoga, tidying, whatever makes you happy and smiley.
Shop for clothes that look good on you, dont look at the size, just find what fits well.
Throw away your scale.
Stop eating red meat.
Drink 2ltrs of water.
Make a list of everything youre grateful for.
Find ways to make other people happy.
Commit random acts of kindness.
Never say anything to yourself that you wouldnt say to a friend or loved one.
Accept yourself and know that you are and will always be, good enough.

Repeat Tues to Sunday.

What are some ways you have learned to love your body and stop obsessing about diet and exercise? Share in the comments below.

The Dame

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Tag Archives: self-love