(Image shot by me at The Secret Garden Party 2011)
My boyfriend only lives a 5 hour drive away and we make an effort to see each other every couple of weeks and Im totally ok with it.
- I have time to miss him
- I have time to get on with my own life
- I have time to appreciate him
- I have time to think about us
- I never lose my individuality
- It gives us time to grow into each other
- We never lose the spark
- We have something to talk about when we see each other
If we weren’t long distance, we would be in each other’s pockets and our relationship would move too fast and my head would be a mess without the time to sort through the emotions and thoughts that come with being in a new relationship.
Being in this relationship has made me cement my feelings that there should always be space and time apart in a relationship.
You need to remain individuals in a partnership instead of two sides of the same coin. Losing sight of who you are as an individual because you are too caught up in your other half is one of the reasons why relationships deteriorate.
Often I feel like missing someone is a sign of an emotional crutch that is needed and that is dangerous. You should never rely on someone to make you feel the way you need to feel. It isn’t someone elses job. We don’t like it when someone relies on us to make them feel good, so don’t do it to the one you’re with.
So, instead of thinking, “I miss the way he makes me laugh all the time”, I think “I love the way he makes me laugh all the time”. That way, I’m appreciating him as an individual and not making him my emotional crutch which takes away who he really is and makes him into something I think I need.
Be careful of that gaping hole inside you that thinks it’s a different person sized hole. It’s not. It only fits you and only you can fill it.
Having someone love and support me from afar means I get to fill in the gaps when he is away. It’s teaching me what I need to give myself instead of relying on someone else to fill me up.
I’m learning that I have to take responsibility for my own well being, physically, mentally and most importantly emotionally. And funnily enough, all those things tie together and begin with physically. If I don’t exercise daily, my head gets muddy and I get anxious and my thoughts go south on myself and my relationship and they take my emotions down with them.
When I take care of myself first, everything else falls into place perfectly.
Have you ever been in a long distance relationship? What is the experience teaching you? Let us know in the comments!